I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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