I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
