Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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