Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
