But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
