i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
