You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
