You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
