Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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