people are starting to question the shark bite story
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
