Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
