I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Randomize
