My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I came so hard my ears popped.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
