Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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