They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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