i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
