so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
