look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize