i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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