ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
