i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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