pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
