I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
