Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my being single is dangerous.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
