he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize