i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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