I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
