Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
