She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
