i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Still dying that you shit outside
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
