You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
