i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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