Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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