Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize