i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
