i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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