I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
are you so shy because you have an std?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
