I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
