she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
