I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
