saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
