He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
