Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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