Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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