it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
