Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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