I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
