Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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