he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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