Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
