dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
