I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
