Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
