thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
