my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
