Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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